Halloween has never been my favorite holiday.  I can’t say it’s my least favorite, either.  On the holiday spectrum, I’d say Halloween has generally fallen in the upper middle, somewhere below Christmas but far, far above Valentine’s Day.  I think Halloween has potential, but it’s the crafting that holds me back.  In order to do Halloween right these days, one must be crafty.

When I was a kid, my mother used to make us elaborate Halloween costumes.  She’d ask what we wanted to be and then she’d take weeks to create perfection out of papier mache and felt.  She was a costume master.

I am not a costume master.  I am a costume idiot.

Last year I tried to make Annabel’s costume.  She was a black cat.  It sounded simple enough.  It looked, well.

Hi! My mom can’t sew!  Also, I’m blurry!

It may not look horribly egregious here, but what made it awful was the realization that people don’t make their kids’ costumes anymore.  They buy them.  I’m not one for keeping up with the Joneses, but when I saw my little homemade black cat compared to the elaborate Batman and pumpkin costumes from Old Navy, it was a little depressing.  Apparently, one can’t simply toss their kid into a black turtleneck, pin a tail to their butt, and call it a day anymore.

Obviously, this leaves a cheapskate slacker like me in a quandary.

Added to the dilemma this year was the fact that the girl wanted to be a spider.  A green spider.  Naturally.

Here’s a hint: Old Navy does not make green spider costumes.

At this point I’d love to spin an inspirational tale about forging through adversity and creating a masterpiece of a spider costume–sorry, green spider–that resulted in 1) me finding my inner crafter and 2) Annabel being elected homecoming queen, but no.  I actually didn’t do anything.  I flailed about helplessly for a few weeks before Michael stepped in and made the costume.  She looks pretty good, we think, but, again, homemade just can’t compare to professionally designed and sewn in a factory.  But I suppose it will have to do, even though all we did was throw on a black turtleneck (again!) and strap Girl Scout tights from the discount store to her back.

My contribution was the black yarn around the legs. Genius, I know.

Halloween.  It’s just not my favorite.